I got this email from my friend Katie and Scott Muir. I was just going to forward it like everyone else but I was laughing too hard and thought that it deserved to be on here. Not sure who originally sent this email, but they need to receive some mad props, I was laughing hysterically.
ENJOY!!!
Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:
A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy heck this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking.
I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:
Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:
There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes. The clothes are fantastic.
Here's how to get your butt kicked in elementary school:
Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.
Here's how to get your butt kicked in high school:
This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.
Here's how to get your butt kicked on the golf course:
This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in the D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it is a deterrent to being violated while there.
Here's how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere:
If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket?? Awkward I know... although you can tell just by looking at them that it could be possible. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.
Here's how to get your butt kicked at the beach:
He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.
How to get your butt kicked in a meeting:
If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.
How to get your butt kicked on every day up to, and including St. Patrick's Day:
Oh my heck, I don't believe that this color even exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
In this next one, your search for
VALUE seriously does end at Penneys.
As does your search for chest hair.
And this -- Seriously. No words.
Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are: "what the Heck ." I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access
to the chest hair, & the little tie must be the pull tab? Uhh...
Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike.
They look happy though, don't they?
If your marriage/relationship is on the rocks maybe you should try dressing alike, it'll help or maybe this next little get up would... (what can I say I ain't no Doctor Phil)
And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits.
Seriously, I thought about wearing that on my honeymoon, but was afraid I'd get my butt kicked for that too.
Then, after the your long day is over, you two can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:
I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors or the cheesy photographs. Glad we have come a long way since then, but hey...
That said, I will leave you with this tasteful little number:
Hmmm... Man, that's sexy.
Well anyways time for my Sunday nap but hope you got as much of a kick at this time travel as I did!! No offense anyone who actually wore this stuff, but what can I say! Glad it wasn't me... Great Halloween costumes though!!
